it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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