I think i peed on brittanys purse
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
