5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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