do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
