I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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