i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
