Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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