she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Randomize
