when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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