i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
