Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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