no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
