I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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