Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
