Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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