omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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