I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
