dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
