weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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