Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
