That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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