So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
