I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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