Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
