Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
