the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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