jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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