she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
