Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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