I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
