'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
