it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
