Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
