Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
