Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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