apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
