Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
