well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
