The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
