what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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