ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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