Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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