I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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