the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
