OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
