He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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