remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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