Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
