Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
