Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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