somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
