White coat. Heels.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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