At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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