so that wasnt chicken after all
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
