Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
